#25: Giáng Sol and Dick The Dog!

Posted: April 3, 2009 
Filed under: People
Tagged: FUNNY, GIANGSOL, People
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Ha Linh – Mua.mp3 –

As I posted in the previous entry, a photo series of Giang Sol – the musician. She said she wanted to take photo with a a big dog whose name is DICK, she wanted him to be her background, in a hope of focusing on her…beauty. But then it turned out that she was the background, and it was the dog – the beauty!

When I posted the photos on my blog, the readers even forgot about the main character – the FAMOUS ONE, the female artist, they kept asking me about this huge dog. So, on behalf of the ANIMAL MAGAZINE (which I just made up), I hired a reporter to interview Dick, to see how he felt about this photo set and what it was like to be famous in just one night!

The surprise was, he answered exactly like I would do, hahaha!

DAVID DICK – THE ARTIST DID NOT KNOW HOW TO “LET GO”

Covamua.mp3 –

Reporter ( R ): Hey Dude, no, Dog, ah no sorry, Dick, you finished your meal? Have some free time to talk?

Dick: Go go Go

R: Hey, are you telling me to fuck off?

D: You are stupid, I was barking!

R: Oh, I see, you are dog, I’m sorry. I forgot. Hey, you are looking real good lately, so how is it feel like to be a famous person, oh no, I’m sorry again, a famous dog? (He had to go rushing for a translation machine invented by the Japanese; it’s function can translate dog’s language to human’s, otherwise, all he would hear was just “go”).

D: Oh, I am afraid I am not healthy enough to be a famous “person” (he means “dog” ). Since the day the photo set was well spread and it has raised a rumor that a famous artist was the background for a dog, I have been so busy receiving guests and…contracts, mostly from Chinese melamine milk companies. I am really exhausted, I am bothered by the reporters too as well, I want to Go Go them all!

R: (felt embarrassed): Oh really, I guess I am one of them

Dick: Yeah right, go go go. (The reporter was scared to hell that he held his pant tightly)

R: But please let me finish it ok? Why your name is Dick?

Dick: Because my father loves President Bush!

(The father is his owner)

R: Ah, interesting! So, can you tell me some of your interesting memories during the photo shoot?

D: Oh Fukc it! (beeeep). It was damn hot and too much sunshine, but because of my father’s stupid love to that musician, he walked me a long distance from the Big C supermarket to the Music Institute. You know I don’t want to be popular in front of the crowd, but hell everybody was looking at me like I was an angel on the street, and guess what, I was supposed to be the one who should be proud, not my father, so how come he headed his face up proudly as if he was the dog, not me? And I was so thirsty too, my tongue was like 10 feet long because of the thirst!

Dick: And soon the musician saw me, she jumped out, touched and kissed me, Ew, I was startled, but honestly, I felt….good, that was the first time I had ever been touched by a woman, but there’s one pity problem, I am just only 8 months old, I am not old enough to function as a real man!

Reporter: Hold on, you said, you are just only 8 months old?

Dick (grrrr): So damn you, what do you think how old I am? And I know HOW TO WALK already, okay?

Reporter: Ok ok, calm down, you look like a man now (what?). Tell me more about what happened during the photo shoot! Anything fun?

Dick: Hell there was no fun. Oh, there was, it was when the artist pulled me to a kindergarten, the children was having lunch inside, and then they saw me, they all left their meals and ran outside to see me. They touched, talked and laughed at me. I was really a star at that time, the feeling was great, they did not care about that famous artist, they just cared about me! Even the teachers rushed out and tried to take some photos of me with those little people; there was even rice stuck on my mouth. The young teacher seemed to have a crush on me, she gave me sweet deep love look, she even forgot about baby sitting her students!

R: Funny, so what were the things you disliked?

Dick: It was Ha Kin and her gang, they tried to separate me from my father, and he let them did that to me. While I was so thirsty and felt insecure with those evil people beside, my father let them did whatever they wanted, he just sat there and chatted on the phone. He totally ignored me. They pulled me up and down, backward and forward just like I was a fury toy (fury?). Hey, and Sol, the artist, she thought she was a strong person, she did not realize her ability, she tried to pull me hard, so, eventually, I was tired, I lied down, guess what? She tried to pull me over and over but the chain was not even moved, I even heard the clinging sound from her teeth, I bet she’d lost some of her teeth!

R: Oh no, hey, she’s a famous artist, and she’s a woman, why did you do that to her?

Dick: So what is this with “the artist?” The problem with her was that she did not know how to let go (the chain).

R: As I looked at the photos on Ha Kin Newspaper, I saw great photos, with a gentle, comfortable Giang Sol walking along the street with a beautiful dog, and you look quite pleasant too…

Dick: Oh naaaaaah, that was all acting, those photos were taken by tricks, they used some of my exhausted moments to take picture. I was too tired and the camera was damn fast. So you know, just one second I was not pulling away from the artist, they clicked, and people thought I was obedient. No way, you guys just want fake images on the press! We must reveal all behind – the – scene photos to let the public knows the truth!

(Photos below show the artist did not know how to let go)

R: But hey, anyway, she made you famous, don’t you think what you are saying about her would hurt her?

Dick: Oh, I don’t want to be hot, I hate fame, it’s just you guys put that on me. I am willing to return everything to you! It is tired to be a beautiful person, sorry, I mean, dog!

R: So you think you are a beautiful dog?

Dick: Why not? Don’t you see me beautiful? Why I became famous and what the hell you are doing here for? Even though I am just 8 months old and have not graduated from high school but I am beautiful so I am spoilt, it is natural. Even a famous person was just my background in the images. But anyway, I am really tired, I had to drink lot of Chinese melamine milk lately (they paid me by milk instead of money, in trade of acting for their commercials), so I have been nuts lately….

R: I think a part of your fame was made by Ha Kin’s talent, she took good photos of you….

Dick: Well, the fact is I AM BEAUTIFUL, so whatever cameras, photographers would still make beautiful photos. I am beautiful when I smile, I have my tongue out, when I hang up my foot to P or even when I shit on the street, I am still beautiful.

R: Oh, I don’t know what to say…

Dick; So you are a dumber!

R: Hey, there’s one thing I don’t know if I should say, but you sounded exactly like Ha Kin, the photographer….

Dick: Hey, stop it. I don’t like being compared with anyone. Dick is Dick ,and Ha Kin is Ha Kin. However, I do agree that she takes beautiful photos, otherwise how could I be this famous? I really adore her, so if you meet her, can you please do me a favor? Tell her that I am giving her kisses, I am phucking loving her!

R: Oh sure, Thanks Dick so much.

Dick: All right, now, GO GO GO!!!

R: Hold on, there’s one more thing I want to ask, my newspaper has some ad spots for Chinese milk and Vedan sodium glutamate, two hot products on the market currently, would you….

Dick (Interrupted): Now , fuck off!

Oh no, you know what, he said fuck off for real, in…human’s voice. No translation machine needed, how scary!

And the reporter fucked off real fast!

No beeping!