#56: I am gay, so what?

Posted: November 25, 2009 
Filed under: People, friends, stories
Tagged: kevinquan, People
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This set was taken nearly one year and a half ago. Different with all other set, I had not shown the picture to any one until now. And there is no particular reason why I am posting them now, it is just because I want to share something today.

You can call this guy “Kevin” ; Kevin Quan. Kevin is pretty well known by being the first male belly dancer in Vietnam.  At the time, belly dancing was still considered something “sexy”, “immoral”, “not good”…. It is heavily criticized from those old fashioned people and dumb husbands. And when belly dance mostly indicates to women, it is so weird to see a guy in this dance. And that made the name for Kevin.

Even belly dance recently has become a new wave and is widely accepted all over Vietnam. The story about Kevin is still always something pretty interesting.

Kevin was a student from Institute for International Relations, the university where I had attended but he is some years behind me. This is a high – rank and privileged university of Vietnam, lot of people were trying hard to attend to be a student here. But guess what, Kevin quitted the school when he was in second or third year, just because he did not feel like the place “is right” for him.

He started to do things that he really loved, he entered a fashion institute, and he fell deeply in love with belly dance. Despite the fact that being male belly dancer would be so weird and hardly accepted, he just did things he wanted to do.

At first, people screamed and got goose-bumps seeing him dance. What a ridiculous image of a guy: dressing in dress and in half shirt, shaking his boos and hip, eyes winking to the audience. Some thought this would create scandals, so they taped him dance, spread on the internet included with very ill – intended comments. People thought of him as a beast.

So, that is how he became “famous”, famous from being infamous first.  Even they did not like him, they still knew about him, and more and more people came to see how this “weird boy” dancing.  The thing is that, he did not pay damn attention about bad things people talked out there. He did what he liked, that’s all!

When something keeps happening, even if it was once considered “weird”, “unacceptable”, people start to enjoy and discover beauty in what they are experiencing. Kevin had been invited to big shows by then, he was on newspaper around with positive comments. Until one day, it is no more surprised seeing a male belly dancer. Let say, he changed people.

Kevin is good looking and pretty smart. Rumors spread that he is gay. (Well, gay is still “strange” and creates lot of gossiping all the time).  And well, indeed, he is.

And he shows: I’m gay, so what?

Tell you what, I love gay people, they are so talented and kind once they really love you. And I understand gay people quite well, since I have lot of experience with them.

Kevin once was my friend. Well, he was, it is hurt to say. We used to hang out, eat food on street and gossip a lot. He always showed like he knew a lot of people, he had a lot of friends, but I felt something that is not so comfortable being with him for long term, and I knew for sure: deep inside, he is so lonely, very lonely.

The song is titled: Dark Corner. Composed and sung by Nguyễn Hải Phong.

I know one thing about gay people, perhaps is not applied to everyone, but is mostly right best of time. It is that they always want to show  everyone they are really good, or better, they can use over – behaviors or even violence in order to be attracted by people/person they like – or just among a crowd. This also explains why there are amazing – talented gay people; they try hard to show off what they really have.

Kevin talked a lot, he met my “famous” friends, and he would talk bad things right in front of their faces or about other people, just to show he is really “special”. Sometimes he talked so much and the talked things without thinking about any consequences. He thought it was fun, he did not know that bothered people and, well, one day, he angered me extremely. He did not realize that he did something so terrible just by his words and he hurt other people real bad. I knew he was thoughtless, I knew he was still immature.  But he had to pay for what he had done! I could not be his friend anymore! Having him around is like carrying a bomb that can be exploded anytime.

He lost me, he lost my friends. He still said bad things behind my back, I knew. But I understand for him,  people understand for him. When he is really grown up, he will be different. One day, he will realize why he is so lonely; he will learn to respect what he is having.

I admit I admire his talents, his strong will. He can do and show things he has and he is without being scared of what other people say.

But no one is perfect. The more talented you are, the sicker you are as well!

I did this set in a bar located in an old house of Hanoi. The place is pretty; Kevin had a good relationship with the owner here, so we decided to carry out this set at this location.

I had no lights so the set was taken  in very bad exposures.  Indoor – some low bulb lights and hand held.  But then I liked it, because that was for no fashion or commercial purposes, it is nothing for something fancy but to show some dark corners of a lonely “star” –  indeed – a very lonely person.  He accepted this fact!

He was willing to take off all of his clothes so there are more shocking photos but I don’t show them. Just pick out some favorites from the set!

This is also a pure black and white set!