#14: A summer message

This message was written in summer, when I was in the third year of college and when I decided to take one year off to come visit my parents abroad. It also means that I had no more chance to study with my dearest friends! So I wrote this message, for my friends of G, and all others, each of you, who reads this message, is a piece in here!

A summer message
When I first came here. I thought it was a trick. I thought I was trapped here just to be avoided from wrong things. It was not true, and I, was not right. I have had much more than that.
Summer makes me feel strange. I wonder how leaves grow strong in such a heat but fall down by the coolness of the fall. Summer, it’s when some starts school but others say their farewell. And from summer when it gave me magic to stick into a world where kindness is always welcomed, and where I met special people, so much special that I would remember them for last.

First step into the hall. I met Việt Anh who was running like a crazy child. I never thought he would be my classmate, for his hair was so long as if he was student of a music school, I would have never imagined I could be a friend of a person who always acts and speaks with words like after drinking and made me so angry when waking me up at 2 o’clock in the morning by a phone call just to ask me if I was sleeping. But they say, whenever you need a helping hand, he will give you one. Second step into the class, I sat next to Toàn, I wondered myself how funny his face was and how funny when he spoke, for I’d rarely listened to the voices of the south. I did not like him at all, but once when he told me with his-funny-voice that I was special and kind, then he had taught me to love others better, its to love-beneath-from-inside. And I met Hiền who was hardly to share her books with me on the first day in class but so long then, I realized she is soft as her name. And I met Linh, I have liked him since we made friends, he makes others surprise and shock when saying terrible things like asking me to sleep with him when we played the paper thing. But that did not make me mind. Hoành, who is old and who I could never spill out the second word when we talked, did not mind when I called him a dog. Thùy did not mind when I called her dishonest. Vân did not mind when I told her that her hair was so long that it must be unclean. Nga did not mind when I asked her if her boyfriend was crazy and if she had dumped him. And some boys did not mind when I said I loved them but did not know who they were. I act mad sometimes because I know, good friends are always given forgiveness from each other. But like others, I made friends and I lost, I minded one time when I met a person so-called friend, may be she was not that bad, but I could never make it up with her, for something inside has died and I could not fake it, and I was so scared of having another.
Yap, it is funny, we are learning little things from our friends, just like me, little things that count to make a life complete. I have learnt from Hiển that his parents go to work by cars but he has just a Chinese motorbike. I have learnt from Thái Hà, the one who always says she likes a song but never remembers its title, nor its lyrics and rhythm, the one who more than once forgot her exam dates but never forget my birthday. I have learnt from Ngọc Hà that her voice is so soft that Hoành can not stop loving her for so long. I have learnt from Thủy who always say big things as if he had straightened up the Pisa towel but never makes me to believe. I have learnt from Long and his lovely girl friend that whenever they ask me for a candy I always spare them two. I have learnt from Hoàng Anh and Chi that as they laugh at my jokes they make them much funnier. I have learnt from Hương who every time calls me “mày” but always “ấy” to a boy. I have learnt from Trang who reads so many languages that she wonders why Thu Hiền sings Vietnamese. And I have learnt from a stranger who dared to express his kindness in danger when I was desperately in need, and I have learnt from people that they make me so happy when calling me “kin” though some I don’t know them at all.
May be, friends can not be trusted completely but somehow they make our things go right. When I am happy, I need a friend to share. When I am down, I need a friend to comfort me. Summer, it is happy times of fun and joy, but it gave me a shock once when I heard of my grandmother’s cancer, she was going to die. I was depressed, I wanted to lay everything down but memories were running after me and I felt like I was unable to let things go. I was dreaming, my grandmother was cured and she lived healthily ever after. When I woke up, it was hard, for those unreal dreams were so hurt. But one friend knew how to help me to get through those weakest moments by telling me: “every person has her own destiny, you can not make it, you can not change it, it’s not your fault, don’t look back to yesterday, yesterdays have past, don’t keep you on your own, just go on”. And thanks to her, I knew how to help others to release their pains when facing with their own losses, and I, finally have learnt that with love and comfort we put forth would ever melt a hardened heart.
Yeap, summer is coming, but why I feel like a spring time in this evening, may be its because in the courtyard birds are singing, because there is a whistle of a train and because it is a bit cold after a rain. One more summer and we are separated apart for each one goes with his own, but to me, I will think of y-o-u, today and I later for I am carrying always the times of how we have been together and what you’ve said to make me feel alright. May be, someday, someone who doesn’t know how to live by sweet memories with fade details but learns to hold a place of old friends inside. I myself would recall those even from a forgotten place…from summer. Because summer gave me sadness but makes me happy and it teaches me to think right of friendship.
Still, so much more I want to say, why I am writing this, I don’t know, is it the summer clicking and I can feel the touch of the season? Is it because someone told me yesterday that he loved me? Or just because I am going away? Yeah, may be, but whatever, …will you miss me?

If ever you are feeling like you’re tired?
And all your uphill struggles leave your headed downhill
If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you
And your appetite for pain has drunken its fill
I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think of one minute that you are alone
And is your suffering a privilege you share only
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home.

Just wait…
Just wait…
Just wait…
And it will come…